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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726727">Christmas With The Blakes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ealasaid/pseuds/Ealasaid'>Ealasaid</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownstory/pseuds/writeyourownstory'>writeyourownstory</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hallmark Channel [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>1917 (Movie 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Blood and Injury, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Dogs, Family Fluff, Family Secrets, Gun Violence, Home Invasion, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, Joefield, Kissing, Little Brothers, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Romance, Swearing, chatfic, goes off the rails, or more specifically by a 'create your own Hallmark Christmas Movie' grid, prose, surgeon!Joseph Blake, veteran!William Schofield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:34:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726727</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ealasaid/pseuds/Ealasaid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownstory/pseuds/writeyourownstory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joseph is the career-oriented surgeon home for the holidays, both at his younger brother's insistence and because he is, actually, a very good son.  He meets his brother's best friend: one William Schofield, a guy with a dog.  This is the story of how they meet and, slowly, fall head over heels; and then abruptly find out a great deal more about each other when assassins crash the party.  --Oh, plus?  Seriously, cuddling like <em>crazy.</em></p><p>[Has nothing to do with "Christmas with the Kranks"]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joseph Blake &amp; Tom Blake &amp; William Schofield, Joseph Blake/William Schofield, Lieutenant Richards &amp; William Schofield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hallmark Channel [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the career-oriented surgeon returns home for Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Originally written on October 4th, 5th, and then November 25th.</p><p>Warning for: excessive fluff.  Also, this starts as chatfic, and then switches to prose about halfway through.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>[October 4th, 2020. 12.20 p.m.]</em>
</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  OK it's Joe/Will this AU</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Oh yes, some good Joe/Will 🥰</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Will is the guy with the dog. The dog's name is Ben and he is a PTSD dog<br/>Will is a war vet who went through some really crazy shit. Like some sort of crazy mission, ended up the sole survivor, got a presidential medal or something<br/>--not that Joe knows that at all. Hell, <em>Tom</em> doesn't know, and Tom's like, this dude's only friend besides the dog<br/>ummmmm<br/>Joe is . . . . . . . . . . . . . an ER surgeon<br/>career-oriented ER surgeon</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Ok yes I’m liking this</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  he's home to appease his sassy little brother<br/>and also because Joe is actually a good son and he's been planning on coming home for a while now<br/>he's got a whole month off</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Plus “career oriented” adds some drama later on 😂</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong> 😂<br/>u know me I'm alllllll about the drama<br/>hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm<br/>that's the setting and the characters<br/>haven't come up with the plot yet<br/><em>[20 minutes later]</em><br/>okay fuck it, we're going wild ride here<br/><em>ARE YOU READY KIDS</em><br/>/pipes in her own chorus, but higher-pitched<br/>"Fuck yeah!"<br/>RIGHT HERE'S HOW IT GOES DOWN:<br/>Joseph Blake comes home for the holidays and is immediately struck by . . . a dog<br/>literally he gets home. As he drives up he sees his brother Tom chatting with someone in the front yard as though the other guy was walking past and just stopped to chat, like, y'know, a neighbor or something, and when Joe gets out of the car, this <em>dog</em> flattens him<br/>Tom starts whooping and Joe's like "GODDAMNIT TOM" and then there's this guy who's going "oh fuck, sorry," and then "Ben -- BEN, NO" right about when the dog starts licking Joe's face<br/>and then the dog is pulled away and there's this plain-looking bloke<br/>just kinda anxiously apologetic<br/>he helps Joe up and starts to brush him off and then the dog starts jumping around again so he grabs the dog and calms him down while Tom comes over and busily texts photos of what just happened to probably everyone Joe knows<br/>so obviously Joe has to deal with <em>that<br/></em>and the guy excuses himself and Tom has just enough time to introduce him that Joe learns this is Will Schofield, one of his parents' neighbors, moved in a year ago and he'll probably see them later, but clearly he needs to take Ben off to continue his walk</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Omg yes 😂 Toms a little shit<br/>(Also, what kind of dog is Ben?)</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Honestly, Joe didn't get a good look<br/>but he is an Australian Shepherd</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Oooooo <strong>👏</strong>👀</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong> Joe settles back at home and family time ensues and they have <em>dinner</em> and they make <em>plans</em> and blah blah blah etc. etc. etc.<br/>so the next time he sees their neighbor Schofield, Schofield is walking around the neighborhood and he waves to Joe and so Joe is polite and waves back and then goes off on whatever errand he's doing<br/>Two days after that, Tom drags Joe off to lunch downtown and it is <em>bloody cold</em><br/>but they end up eating outside anyway because they're having lunch with Will and apparently the dog needs to come too?<br/>(Joe does not eye the dog suspiciously. Except that he totally eyes the dog suspiciously.)<br/>and Will sees it and is like "oh no, sorry, no. He knows he's working when he's got the vest on" and Joe realises that what he mistook for like a silly dog sweater is actually one of those service dog vests</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Omg Joe 😂</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and, being somewhat versed in medicine (somewhat) he's like . . . . too big to be a seizure dog and Schofield is obviously not blind so -- trauma dog? and is like "oh, what for?" because he doesn't want to presume, but does add "I mean, he looks a bit big for seizures, I thought they used terriers for those?" <s>I only vaguely know half of this and I'm too lazy to research rn</s></p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Yeah they generally use smaller dogs for seizures I believe</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and Will's like "oh, for PTSD actually. Service in Iraq" and his shoulders are creeping up a bit -- it's clear he's expecting something not . . . so great --<br/>but Joe's just like "ah, well in that case, I will only eye him with a little bit of suspicion"<br/>and they awkwardly move past that moment<br/>it's not a bad lunch for all that it is very cold<br/>and Joe can see why Tom likes Will so much. Will is very polite and kind of desperately bland but all that cracks quite a bit around Tom -- it's obvious that Tom is very good at getting him to relax<br/>and Will, when he's less stiff, is genuinely hilarious<br/>a bit awkward, but, like, very good at adding in punchlines to jokes and some clever wordplay<br/>his humor is also fairly black and <em>Joe</em> finds that hysterical because ER surgeon and they end up swapping jokes about head wounds</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Ok yeah I can definitely see that humor being similar!</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Anyway, by the end of the lunch, he's just as open with Joe as he is with Tom and vice versa!<br/>So the next day, when Joe spots Will walking around the neighborhood, he goes over to talk and ends up joining him -- Joe normally does some sort of run or something anyway, he's been slacking off recently -- and though Will is clearly not expecting it, he is like "yeah, alright" and Ben apparently doesn't feel the need to knock Joe down, so yeah.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Ben's a good boi 🥰<br/>And Will finds comfort in another person besides Tom that doesn’t treat him any differently and he can talk to so easily</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  exactly!<br/>but this is all still from Joe's POV<br/><br/>hang in there, we're at like.  <strike>1/3 of this outline</strike> <em>[Editor's note: nope, it's like the 1/8th mark.]</em><br/><em>cracks knuckles</em></p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  🙌😭🙌<br/>CONTINUE QUEEN</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Over the next week and a half, Joe gets to know Will a lot better.  --And it's just kind of this funny thing that happens:<br/>there's one day where Tom sort of blithely is commenting on a news story about like, a five-car pileup following a wild police chase<br/>and for whatever reason, Joe's just reminded of one really nasty night in the ER<br/>so where Tom is like "wow, can you imagine?" Joe just gets quiet and a bit caught up in remembering the 11-year-old who was in surgery for 12 hours trying to repair some major organ trauma <s>or whatever plausible horrible car accident thing</s><br/>but then Ben starts licking his hand and it gets his attention, especially since Ben is clearly demanding some ear scratches, and Will clears his throat and is like "yeah that's pretty awful. So do you recall that movie we saw a few weeks ago? I had a question about that"<br/>and the conversation changes and Joe can shake it off pretty easily and<br/>he almost thinks it's just a coincidence</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <strong>👏😭</strong></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  but he does see Will catching his eye and just making this expression like <em>you okay?<br/></em>and Joe nods like <em>yeah, I'm good<br/></em>and also suddenly thinks that Will has very kind eyes</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Hell yes he does! 🥺 so full of understanding 😭</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  ^^^<br/>anyway, he starts -- oh, just watching Will a little more<br/>and notices that sometimes when they're all hanging out, Ben licks at Will's hands <em>a lot<br/></em>and those tend to be times that Will also lets Tom or Joe talk without any interruption</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  He is probably severely traumatized but very good at hiding it from people</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  oh boy <em>is he</em><br/>--but anyway. the next time Joe notices it, he catches Will's eye himself<br/>and Will looks so utterly startled that he noticed it's almost funny<em><br/></em></p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and later Joe asks him if he needed them to do anything for him if that happened and Will's just like "no, no, listening to you two is more than enough"<br/>and he smiles very genuinely, then, and it is easy to see he is totally sincere when he adds "either you or Tom can bring me out of it anyway. I've never met two people so determined to out-talk each other"</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 😂<br/>Omg that describes Tom and Joe so well<br/>But I can totally see Will just blocking everything out and focusing on Joe's or Tom's voice and just bringing himself out</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  that, yeah! and what they talk about is just so <em>normal</em><br/>and it's easy and honestly neither of them care whether or not he joins in the conversation so he doesn't feel pressured to contribute and it is <em>such</em> a relief<br/>and anyway, since the topic is at hand<br/>Joe sorta awkwardly clears his throat and is like "so uh, I know Tom and I are sort of -- touchy-feely, we're not bothering you with that either, are we?"<br/>because it's just now occurred to him that like, he and Tom <em>are</em> touchy-feely<br/>they're always shoving each other or bumping shoulders or just<br/>you know<br/>and Joe is a bit startled to realise he's been doing that with Will quite a bit, too -- he saw Tom doing it and he guesses he's just sort of followed that<br/>but uh that can be bad too for traumatized people, right?<br/>but Will's like "no no no, it's good. Trust me, that helps too"<br/>doesn't elaborate but just leaves it at that</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Physical touch helps ground him and bring him out of his own head</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  oh yeah, definitely!<br/>very tactile man is William Schofield, these days.<br/>(Also, it reminds him of his old unit -- they were all very much in each other's space, so this is -- nice.)<br/>--point is, Joe is relieved that he and Tom haven't been accidentally triggering Will or anything at all so it's good!<br/>--and also, Will has an exceedingly nice smile.<br/><br/>Anyway, it is of course December, and Christmas is around the corner! and during breakfast one morning Tom disrupts the whole household by barging in and being like "Mum, we <em>have</em> to invite Will over for Christmas this year"<br/>it's Joe and Mum at the table and they're both just like "huh?"<br/>and Tom looks like he hasn't slept all <em>night</em> and last Joe checked, he and Will were like? watching a movie or something yesterday evening? Joe doesn't know, he was helping Mum with some baking<br/>and Mum's like "I mean, doesn't he have family?"<br/>and Tom's like "APPARENTLY NOT AND I AM OFFENDED BY THIS"<br/>"It's not right that he spend Christmas alone!"<br/>Joe, automatically, is like "He's not alone, he's got Ben"<br/>Tom's like <em>"the dog doesn't count"</em><br/>and their mum looks around the house and is like "well, I guess we can put Myrtle in the laundry room if she gets too distracting for his service dog . . . so sure, why not?"</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> <strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong> so anyway Joe drains his coffee and is like "I'll go ask him what he needs" and Tom's like "I'll go too!" and Joe's like "yeah no, you look like a train wreck, eat some breakfast and take a shower you loser"<br/>Tom's like "He's just right next door, who caaaaaaaaaares" and Joe's like "oh my god you <em>literal child"</em> and then they scrap and it ends with Joe dunking Tom's head in the sink because, as a 31-year-old surgeon, he knows all about manipulating physical bodies<br/>which is something he says loudly and obnoxiously as he does it<br/>(and also points out that if Tom weren't all exhausted from over-worrying himself, he'd be able to fend Joe off, too)<br/>So Joe goes over and knocks on Will's door and Will only looks a little surprised -- he's usually out walking Ben in an hour or so<br/>invites Joe in for coffee and Joe is absolutely <em>not</em> totally checking the place out (he's never been inside)<br/>the house is pretty bare, just the basics<br/>kinda like Will struggled to fill up the space, maybe?<br/>but the kitchen is crammed with all sorts of things and is obviously well- and frequently-used<br/>it is definitely the coziest room in the house.<br/>they sit at the little table in the kitchen and Ben comes in to see that it's Joe, is utterly unimpressed, and flops on the floor by Will's feet<br/>(it is absolutely endearing when Will starts absently rubbing Ben's stomach with his bare foot and Ben makes that happy dog whine and rolls onto his back and totally <em>revels</em> in it while Will talks)<br/>and Joe explains the whole thing<br/>Will looks a bit flummoxed but then he seems . . . shyly pleased by the invitation<br/>and looking at the bare house, Joe impulsively adds "you can stay with us at the house too, if you'd like -- we've got a spare bedroom"</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Bless you JOE!</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  And -- Will is definitely tempted by that, but a little more reserved, too</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Oh of course<br/>It’s a nice gesture but I can see Will hesitant to accept anything like that right away<br/>No matter how lonely he is 🥺</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and Joe's like "but you don't have to" and Will looks apologetic and is like "oh it's just. Ben, you know, and -- I don't always take to different spaces well"<br/>and Joe's like "yeah, okay, that makes sense"<br/>Will's frowning, though, and Joe's starting to feel very bad about bringing it up but then Will is like "actually you know what? that would be absolutely lovely"<br/>and then Joe starts tripping over himself bc er, Will had valid points, but Will very firmly is like "no, I'm sure I'll be fine. You and Tom will be there, I can't imagine your home being any less inviting"</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <strong>👏😭</strong></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and good God, the way he <em>smiles</em> at Joe<br/>Joe's like 😳</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  🙌😭🙌<br/>(You’re killing me babe with all these Will-smiles 😂🥰)</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and Will's just looking at him like Joe's the best thing in the world and Joe is very suddenly aware that he has . . . a massive, massive crush on his little brother's friend<br/>who is also Joe's friend, now, but like . . . <em>wow!</em><br/>This is of course exactly the time Tom chooses to barge in.  Doesn't even knock because sometimes, he is actually a twat.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> <em><strong>BAM</strong></em> “Heyo!!”</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Tom's like "WILL YOU ARE COMING OVER TO CHRISTMAS DON'T LET JOE SCARE YOU OFF"<br/>which like, a) rude, b) rude, and c) WHAT THE HELL, TOM</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <strong>👏</strong>😂<strong>👏</strong>😂<strong>👏</strong>😂</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  "I am not going to scare him off!" Joe says, totally outraged.<br/>Tom is just like "Joe, you're my brother, but you are also just the saddest-looking human being on the planet.  Of <em>course</em> you'll scare him off, you're too serious all the time" etc etc and they get into it<br/>Will interrupts them.  He just clears his throat and is like "er, no, I was actually quite happy to take you up on your offer of a spare bedroom and all"<br/>and Tom stops mid-sentence and blinks and then<br/>he <br/>at Joe<br/>and Joe's just like </p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> Omg I love their brother act going on, it’s amazing <strong>👏</strong>😂</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  <strike>anyway (we're . . . maybe 3/5ths through?)</strike> <em>[Editor's note: </em><em>this</em><em> is the 3.5/15 mark!?]</em><br/>the rest of the week is Joe being all oddly flustered<br/>it's like, now that he knows he likes Will, everything is ridiculously charged<br/>and he's sort of in this debate, too, where he's like "should I ask him to dinner, just the two of us? or like. no? or like. What if that ruins everything for me <em>and</em> for Tom"<br/>Tom corners him on the third day that Joe is all uncharacteristically awkward and does that really annoying little brother thing where he instantly presses every single button Joe has, including the exact combo needed to figure it out/get Joe to spill the beans, at which point he is like. the <em>absolute worst</em><br/>(well, okay, for like a good three minutes he's just like <span class="emojiContainer-3X8SvE"></span> )<br/>("Okay I knew you dated guys but like I thought that was one of those college phases or something, weren't you in that relationship with that one girl for three years?" "Tom, you arse, that was Sophia. You <em>met her when I brought her home to meet Mum!"</em>)<br/>(that relationship didn't work out because their schedules eventually just got too hectic and they drifted apart)</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 😂😂😂<br/>Yes, the life of a surgeon is all over the place</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and then Tom gets all serious and is like "Joe, you're only home for another week and a half -- and I've never seen him in a car or anything. Like, I don't think he can handle small spaces at all. would you be able to handle that?"<br/>and Joe realises this is actually . . . true?<br/>they've always hung out outside or in Will's house (Tom has been there, apparently) -- but Will always walks when they're meeting for meals and Joe realises he's never seen Will drive<br/>so that's awkward<br/>but like the other thing is . . . he <em>is</em> only there for a week and a half more<br/>so like. Is it really worth talking to Will about in the first place?</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> And <em>there's</em> the start of the career-driven drama!</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  oh<br/>babe<br/>you have <em>no idea</em></p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  🙌😂🙌</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  right so Joe gets over himself and starts making an effort to act like his old self<br/>and Will looks <em>so</em> relieved when he does this<br/>and not that Joe has ever seen much anime (since he, like, had a life and also med school), but he remembers seeing some silly reaction videos or something where the anime character gets a closeup and there's this massive blush spreading over his face and there's like a heartbeat and Joe <em>swears to God</em> it is <em>exactly</em> like that.  That is how he feels!  That is what Will looks like! <strike>Maybe he's not completely insane!</strike><br/>so he resolves to get like. A really, really good Christmas present for Will.<br/>this necessitates some research, so he makes sure to go on walks with Will and Ben and starts taking Will up on his offers to come in for coffee after them and it turns out Will can cook<br/>like, exceedingly well!<br/>Joe insists on helping out because he's not <em>totally</em> useless, Mum made sure he and Tom knew how to cook, so he gets to like, fry eggs and shit or something and basically, within a few days, Joe is having breakfast with Will after their walks.  Routinely.<br/>(and is it just Joe, or is Will entirely too happy about this?)<br/>(for certain, the last week or so, Joe has noticed that Ben doesn't need to lick at Will's hands that often or demand scratches or anything)<br/>(or at least, not when Tom and Joe are around)</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <em>Bless</em></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  And then it's Christmas Eve! </p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  WOOO 🙌🎄</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next up: CHRISTMAS EVE!!</p><p><span class="emojiContainer-3X8SvE"></span> courtesy of @<a href="https://mangalho.tumblr.com/post/613350043912699904/bars-bruv">mango!</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. and falls in love with some guy and his dog</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>and falls in love with some guy and his dog</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>[October 4th, 2020. 3.08 PST]</em>
</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Joe's over at Will's house as normal that morning post-walk, but then he's helping Will cart things across the street<br/>
since Will insisted on helping with the cooking. So he's carrying supplies over for this like, absolute feast Will and mum are going to be cooking<br/>
Tom's also helping, but he's complaining a lot more and then he just winds up telling really funny stories to Will, and Will is looking a <em>hell</em> of a lot calmer once Tom starts doing that, so Joe quietly just gets on with it. When he reaches for the last bag, this truly monstrous duffle-bag, though, Will notices and is like "oh, no, no, that's for me to carry" and won't let him touch it.<br/>
and Joe's like "uhhh" because -- Will seemed a little alarmed<br/>
and Will notices and gets a bit sheepish and is like "no no, your presents are there, you don't get to carry it"<br/>
and Tom's like "ohohO" and then rags him thoroughly and that's the end of it!  They go over to the Blakes' for the rest of the day.<br/>
The whole day is spent in baking/cooking.  Mum is delighted to have an extra pair of hands and puts Will to work immediately!</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Ugh this just sounds so cozy 🥰</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Myrtle and Ben go absolutely nuts over each other for a good hour before Ben promptly switches to ignoring her and sitting in the kitchen, watching the proceedings.  Joseph waits until no one is looking and slips him scraps from whatever Joseph can snag discreetly; soon Ben starts watching him just as closely as Will.</p><p>It is genuinely one of the nicest Christmas Eves that Joe recalls having in recent years.</p><p>Mum insists they watch all the classic Christmas Eve movies that afternoon, which means that Tom and Joe and Will and Ben and Mum and Myrtle are crammed into the two couches as they watch the family favorites!</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <em>so fucking cozy</em> 🥰</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  <em>Miracle on 34th Street</em> is Mum's favorite and Will seems to like it as well, mentioning it's his sister's favorite movie; and this is when they find out that Tom misrepresented the whole thing because Will <em>does</em> have family, it's just that it is literally too much of a hassle to travel.</p><p>Just, getting Ben all sorted?  And things packed, and arranging transportation, and then <em>actually traveling</em> -- "I tried it last year and it just wasn't worth it," Will says, a bit grimly.</p><p>Since they're sitting next to each other on the couch, it is <em>totally plausible</em> that Joe just.  Casually wants to give him a one-armed hug.  Right?  --And Will kinda gives him a side-long look and <em>ever so slightly</em> leans towards Joe until he's . . . leaning <em>against</em> Joe . . .</p><p>--And it is <em>very,</em> very comfortable to just . . . leave it there. </p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> <strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Tom, sitting with Mum and Myrtle on the other couch, waggles his eyebrows knowingly at Joe when Will is preoccupied with stopping Ben from sneakily eating all the snacks they've got out there<br/>
and -- oh for God's sake, even Mum is smiling at him -- Joe would absolutely turn bright red, doubtless, but then Tom insists that they watch Joe's favorite movie next because "it's just as depressing as you, we'll need to end with mine so we don't all die of sad dreams overnight"<br/>
and Joe would <em>absolutely</em> kick Tom but Will is currently settled very nicely up against him and he's sort of afraid of moving, honestly, in case Will reconsiders -- this is so dumb. Joe is an actual adult and Will is too, so he absolutely chucks a pillow at Tom anyway after Tom puts in Joe's choice (the 1984 version of "A Christmas Carol") and is absolutely thrilled when Will very freely leans back in when Joe is finished and makes it obvious he is waiting for the arm to go back around his shoulders<br/>
and then Ben sprawls across the part of the couch next to Will and onto Will's lap, too, and Will just looks <em>so happy</em><br/>
and Joe is just. Well and truly fucked.  Good <em>Lord</em> but he is so gone on this man!</p><p>They do pause this movie halfway through and break out the feast and it's truly delicious!</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Fuck I just ate but thinking of a Christmas feast has my mouth watering 😋)</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Everyone eats themselves full to bursting and Joe is goaded into explaining why the 1984 version of "A Christmas Carol" is far superior to any version, especially the Muppets' (his reasoning is basically that it is a serious story of someone actively having to confront his horrible choices, and also he likes the idea that the Devil thinks Scrooge needs an ice-cold office) which prompts a lively discussion about what makes a great adaptation.</p><p>(Joe is hyper-aware of Will's earnest interest in all of this.)</p><p>Then it is Joe and Tom's job to clean up afterwards. Will and Mum did most of the cooking, so it's Joe and Tom's job to clean up, and Will and Mum stay at the table and drink another glass of wine, and it is, just. Joe doesn't even have words for how great this is! Even with Tom ragging him in undertone about how cozy he and Will had been on the couch the entire fucking time!!!</p><p><em>[mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm<br/>
</em>I realise this is turning into an epic and I'm sorry but also <em>oh well<br/>
</em>I'll try to rush through the rest 😂]</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> [Do NOT apologize it’s <em>brilliant</em> 🥰🥰🥰]</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong> [🥰🥰🥰]<br/>
After everything is clean and everyone's feeling less like they've eaten too much, but they're all still too full for dessert, they finish watching the movie. </p><p>Will isn't even subtle about it, now.  Maybe it's the wine or maybe it's that they've already been cuddling for more than an hour, but he just makes himself comfortable <em>practically in Joe's lap</em> -- shakes out a blanket over the both of them and Ben immediately hops up and spreads out on top of it (and also on top of them).</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <em>uuuuuuuugh so cozy</em></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and Joe's sort of so bemused he can't help himself.  He's like, "are you comfortable enough, then?"</p><p>Without missing a beat, Will is like "What is it they say? Seize the day? I'm absolutely going to take advantage of you while you're around." --and holy shit, the look he gives Joseph is <em>wicked.</em>  (Joseph is very glad there is a blanket.)</p><p>Joseph doesn't actually notice the movie is ending right away because um, there are more interesting things to pay attention to -- but when it's over, it is time for coffee and dessert.  Mum takes charge and serves it to them on the couches so they can just get right on to Tom's movie!</p><p>It should surprise no one that Tom's favorite changes every year, and it's always either "Home Alone" or "A Christmas Story." This year, it is "A Christmas Story." It's delightful and very heartwarming and Joseph takes great joy in muttering to Will about how much Tom as a younger brother was very much like the younger brother in the movie, especially since he can lean in close to Will's ear to do it.  (And the way Will shivers just a tiny bit every single time--!)</p><p>(Tom and Mum are also cuddling, though in a much more wholesome way.  It looks like she pulled the "I am your mother and it is my prerogative to give you a hug whenever you want" and Tom is actually a huge sucker for Mum cuddles so he's already asleep, of course.)</p><p>The movie ends eventually -- both too soon and not soon enough.  Joe is both relieved and disappointed when Will sits up and pulls away. Like. he definitely needs the breather because <em>oh my god</em> is he weirdly turned on right now, but also he really really needs a bit of space to process it just . . . a little.  He came into this night with a tremendous crush and the thought Will might reciprocate a tiny bit -- Joe didn't think Will would reciprocate <em>this much!</em></p><p>They let Ben and Myrtle out for a run around the backyard and then they come back in, and Mum says goodnight to all of them and shoos them upstairs. Myrtle goes with Tom and Ben goes with Will and Joe goes with the latter mostly because the spare bedroom Will is sleeping in is next to Joe's room and, you know, it's the mannerly thing to do . . .</p><p>Will hesitates just at the door and it seems like Joe should really like, talk about the uh. Cuddling. but instead, he just . . . leans in . . . and there's a moment where they're just hovering, like they're giving each other an out, but -- Will doesn't move away, and Joe sees the corners of his eyes starting to crinkle with that tiniest smile he has, and Joe takes that as encouragement and leans in the rest of the way--</p><p>--presses his lips to Will's -- and nothing bad happens!  (Joe's heart is hammering in his throat but?? He hasn't died?!)</p><p>Will just sort of huffs.  He has a full smile now when Joe pulls away and he says "I was hoping you'd do that," and before Joe can say anything, <em>Will</em> leans in and kisses him right back. </p><p>and . . . well. The next thing Joe knows, they've been standing in the hall for a good five minutes just kissing each other.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <em>FUCK YES</em></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  --and Joe knows this because Tom clears his throat loudly at the end of the hall and is like <em>"Wow,</em> it <em>sure is late!"<br/>
</em></p><p>Joe and Will break apart and it's -- okay, yeah, a bit embarrassing now.  But this time when they say goodnight, it's more certain.  Like, the couch thing <em>actually happened!</em>  --and everything else that was flirting was really flirting!</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 🙌😭🙌</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Joe goes to his room and he's just <em>on fire.</em>  Over the moon, giddy as fuck.  He doesn't even care, he's just thinking about this, this excitement -- this happiness--</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  Yeah Will does that to a bloke <strong>👏😏</strong></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  --and honestly, Joe's just lying in bed thinking how Will is literally in the next room for a good twenty minutes.  <br/>
when he hears his door open quietly<br/>
and Will comes in</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 🤭</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and slides into Joe's bed<br/>
(Joe is about to have a heart attack from over-excitement)<br/>
and Will murmurs "I <em>did</em> say I'd be taking advantage of you while you're around" and then they're back to what they're doing in the hall but it is <em>so much better.</em></p><p>They're still just kissing, but . . . in the dark, lying next to each other, it's so much less stressful, for some reason? and everything <em>feels</em> a lot more.  </p><p>and just as Joe is starting to forget all the reasons they prooooooooobably shouldn't go further than this,<br/>
Will jerks and pulls away, suddenly.<br/>
Joe's like ?? but Will hisses<br/>
puts a hand over Joe's mouth<br/>
and stays absolutely still.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 👀👀👀</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  There's a very long moment of silence, but Will doesn't relax.</p><p>And then . . . from the spare bedroom, there's a muffled sort of crash.  A dog barks in alarm and then whimpers</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 😱</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and now Joe is just as frozen because <em>that</em> can't be good.</p><p>Will, suddenly, slides right back out of the bed. Joe can't see what he's doing, but he <em>thinks</em> Will has picked up the lamp from the bedside table, unplugging it from the wall, and heads for the door</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 👀👀👀👀</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  and is in precisely the right position to bring it down on the head of whomever then opens it.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> (I am on the <em>edge of my fucking seat</em>)</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  whomever it is staggers and grunts (Joe thinks) and then (and this is hard to see, really) there's a bit of a struggle and -- holy shit, that is <em>definitely a gunshot.</em></p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 😱</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  --At which point <em>Joe</em> gets out of bed and grabs his old cricket(?)/baseball(?) bat out of the closet right about the same time Will does -- something, and the other person slumps on the floor.</p><p>Will catches Joe with a hand over his mouth when Joe comes near.  He leans in very very close and whispers "Silenced weapons -- you should stay here."</p><p>and Joe's heart is back to hammering for entirely different reasons, but he's like "Yeah, no."  He has <em>no fucking clue</em> what's going on but he isn't letting Will do . . . whatever this is alone.  And besides -- Tom's still here and Mum's still here . . .</p><p>and then there's a scream downstairs and yeah</p><p>(also brb)</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> (This went from 0 to 100 reeeaaal quick and I <em>love it</em>)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. but also?? there is a home invasion?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw: violence</p>
<p>Also, this is where it switches to prose!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>[October 4th, 2020. 4.53 p.m.]</em>
</p>
<p><strong>magicaltear:</strong>  (Liz!! Liz come back!! You can't leave it like this!!! <span class="emojiContainer-3X8SvE"></span> )<br/>(Also hi, I've been ghosting for like two hours now laksdjfalkjfa)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (<em><strong>RIGHT?! </strong></em><strong>😂</strong>)</p>
<p><strong>magicaltear:</strong>  (alkjdfa I know, we were enjoying some Christmas kisses in the dark and then <em>assassins</em>!!?? What???)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (I was like <span class="emojiContainer-3X8SvE"></span> )</p>
<p><strong>Lt</strong><strong>. Richards is bae:</strong>  (😂 SORRY okay give me just five more minutes, I'm throwing together dinner)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> (Babe you alright! I knew you had dinner with your parents tonight 🥰)<br/>(But you left us on a cliffhanger <em>CURSE YOU</em> 😂😂)</p>
<p><strong>magicaltear:</strong> (You've been writing all day~! We don't mind waiting! 😊💗)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Yes what magicaltear said! 😂 it sounds much nicer than mine! <strong>👏</strong>😂)</p>
<p>
  <em>[20 minutes later]</em>
</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  (😂😂😂💗💗💗)<br/>(OKAY sorry, had to do a bit more than I intended)<br/>(WHERE WERE WE . . .)</p>
<p><strong>magicaltear:</strong>  (With <em>freaking assassins with silenced guns</em>!!!????)</p>
<p>
  <strong>butler is boo: 👆👆👆👆👆</strong>
</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  (oh, right! POV switch :) )</p>
<p>Will has been having legitimately the nicest evening he can remember having in a fucking long time. Really, truly, a long time. For example -- Tom's incredibly attractive older brother started being more concrete about his interest, and Will can't remember the last time he got to lean against someone who wasn't Ben. He's essentially been living the dream.</p>
<p>Right at this moment, though, he feels like total shit, because it is definitely 100% his fault that the Blakes' family home is now being invaded by -- fuck, who even knows at this point.  </p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 😳</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  "Silenced weapons," he whispers to Joe and tries really hard not to think about how they were in this exact same position maybe forty minutes ago, but in much more enjoyable circumstances -- with his luck, he'd just add that sort of thing to the list of <em>random shit that will trigger you into near-insane levels of dissociation</em> -- and then adds, "You should stay here."</p>
<p>Joe just shakes his head. "Yeah, no," he whispers back almost as quietly as Will.</p>
<p>Will is about to try reasoning with him even more -- Will might have been trained for this, but Joseph has <em>definitely</em> not; he's an ER surgeon, for goodness's sake! --but then someone screams downstairs and Joseph jolts in Will's hold and Will knows it's going to be impossible to keep him here -- especially as Joseph manages to yank himself free while Will hesitates and immediately darts out the door.</p>
<p>Will is 85% certain that the rest of whomever went came in through the spare bedroom window -- that's what he heard, an odd thump on the roof -- anyway he's almost positive they have gone downstairs.  But that isn't 100% certainty and also, there is a very distinct thud in the hall, and Joseph makes this startled grunt, and then there are the sounds of a scuffle.  Will follows in a heartbeat, settling the intruder's gun into a more comfortable grip <s>and it's way too easy to do so.</s></p>
<p>In the hall, Joseph is struggling with someone who is oddly -- pale? in the dark? and Will has just started to lunge when he recognizes that it's just effing Ben, because of course it's effing Ben, he always 'forgets' clothes because he's an absolute arsehole. "Joe!" Will hisses. "It's okay!"</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 😱<br/><em>(shapeshifters)<br/></em><em>(le twist)</em></p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Will grabs Joe's arm and pulls him back, and Ben lets go.</p>
<p>"For fuck's sake, Schofield, it took you <em>long enough,"</em> he hisses.</p>
<p>"Don't start," Will warns him. "You were in the room when they came in. What is happening?"</p>
<p>"What on earth is going on?" Joseph asks very, very quietly.  He has backed up against the wall and is looking between the two of them. </p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Omfg bless poor Joe)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Will is pretty glad that he's currently in the middle of A Situation, because otherwise he would be forced to sit around and stew in the fact that he literally feels his heart break, because . . . yeah. There's not going to be any easy way to explain this.</p>
<p>"No time," Ben says for him, bless him. Will also appreciates how Ben keeps his voice low. "I counted three. It looks like you got this one."</p>
<p>Will swings from desperate thankfulness right back around to anger. "Only three -- and you let them pass?"</p>
<p>In the dark, he sees Ben reach up and touch his head and wince. "I was trying really hard not to listen to your liaison and they got the drop on me," he says apologetically. "Hit me pretty hard when I barked."</p>
<p>Will sighs. Yeah, alright. That's fair.  </p>
<p>In the corner of his eye, Will sees Joe shake his head to himself and then -- shake it off, looks like. He stops leaning against the wall and sets his weight on the balls of his feet. Will wishes there was enough light that he could see whatever expression was on Joe's face, because it would doubtless be some sort of incredibly commanding one.  </p>
<p>"Right," says Joe, much more calmly. "In that case, there's still two. And either they've got my mother or they've got my brother downstairs. Do we have a plan or no?"</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (<strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong><strong>👏</strong> GO JOE!)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  "Well," Will says slowly, still hoping against hope that Joe will see reason. "You can stay here where it's safe . . ."</p>
<p><strong>magicaltear:</strong>  (I swear this took such a turn! I came back loaded with presents and ugly cozy sweaters like "Hallmark...Christmas???" to a completely different story LOL!)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (I love Liz’s fucking mind seriously 😂)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  🥰😂<br/>(I decided fuck it, we need more complete genre twists)<br/>(and also, more supernatural shit)<br/>(always, always, always more supernatural shit)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 👆👆👆👆👆👆<br/>(AMEN)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  --And even <em>Ben</em> looks at Will like he's fucking nuts. So Will just lets it go and tries not to fret too much.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Oh he'll fret but 🤷😂)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  He and Ben already know the best strategy is to creep down the stairs and scope out what's happening in -- it must be the kitchen, with the way it echoed -- but it's almost certain that whomever is downstairs is not still there. He whispers this very quietly to Joe who nods sharply and murmurs that he'll follow their lead.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (👀👀👀👀👀👀)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  They go downstairs. Ben is the loudest, unused to this shape and wincing every time the stairs squeak, but Joe is even more silent than Will -- Will just bets he used to sneak back in past curfew and has all the loudest spots in the floor memorised <s>and if he's lucky he'll be able to ask about it later</s>. Nevertheless, by the time they are at the bottom, there is no indication that any of the invaders have heard.</p>
<p>The kitchen has a light on in it.  Will takes point and waits just a moment to let his eyes adjust to the light before leaning cautiously around the doorjamb and taking a look in, to see:</p>
<p>1) Mrs Blake, sprawled unmoving on the floor, approximately two meters from the doorway; <br/>2) one stocky figure with -- his? her? -- back turned to Will, looking down at Mrs Blake, holding a gun that is pointing at the floor;<br/>3) nothing else.</p>
<p>As Will pivots back around the doorjamb and out of sight, he sees Ben has just spun around with a look of shock to confront the third intruder who is at the foot of the stairs. The intruder immediately shoots him. As Ben shouts and falls, Will instinctively takes aim and pulls the trigger.</p>
<p>Will doesn't wait to see the outcome of this. He trusts in his skills and Joseph, in the event that Will's aim wasn't true for once, to finish subduing the third; and he does his best not to think about Ben. He instead throws himself into the kitchen and squints against the light, aiming for the second intruder, who is just now turning to react to the noise in the hall.</p>
<p>. . . the next thing Will knows, he is also on the floor and blinking, dazedly, at the linoleum. He scrambles to get his bearings.</p>
<p>His cheekbone is pressed painfully into the floor. He feels the vibrations of -- something -- moving. His side is one enormous bruise and he feels the confusion of head trauma, certainly, though at least he's capable of reasoning what's going on. </p>
<p>The gun has been knocked from his hands and he can't see it and . . . the kitchen table is on its side and, frankly, blocking most of his field of view.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (👀👀👀)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  So someone . . . must have . . . Will is reaching for it the logical conclusion, but it is slipping out of his grasp. Hitting him with a table is clever; why, though?</p>
<p>In the middle of all this, the second intruder has decided to up the stakes.</p>
<p><strong>"Tom Blake!"</strong> the intruder says, <strong>"we knew you were a coward, but this hiding does none of us any favors."</strong></p>
<p>.<em> . . wait, what?</em></p>
<p>(POV switch)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Tom Blake was having a perfectly lovely evening watching Joe and Will, who have been dancing around each other like absolute imbeciles for <em>weeks,</em> FINALLY start getting somewhere. He's glad that Will has decided to take Tom's advice to heart and just start asserting himself more -- disgustingly sappy as it is to see them canoodling on the couch, Joe's look of absolute bewildered-and-terrified delight has been the highlight of literally this whole year. <em>Literally.</em></p>
<p>Catching them necking in the hall for ten minutes straight -- more than that, honestly, they didn't even notice when Tom skated into the bathroom and they were still there <em>after</em> he'd finished taking a shower -- was a little more awkward, mostly because he didn't want to know what a horny tortoise sounded like (Joe) and he <em>definitely</em> didn't need to know that Will made noises like. Er. That.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Omfg 😂😂😂😂)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Anyway, yeah. Going great, otherwise!</p>
<p>--right up until <em>something</em> wakes him up. He's honestly not even sure he fell asleep in the first place -- he feels just as sleepy as he did earlier -- but then there's a dog that barks and whimpers and he sits up in alarm because he thought Myrtle was fine?</p>
<p>And Myrtle IS fine, he sees, but she is also awake and her ears are cocked, but. She just seems curious . . .</p>
<p>Tom listens, but then Myrtle whines very softly and puts her head back down.</p>
<p>"Just a nightmare?" he hums to her and scratches at her ears. She ignores him grumpily and tucks her head further from his enthusiasm. "Well, never mind then."</p>
<p>Tom yawns and lays back down and starts drifting off to sleep. He can't <em>wait</em> to see how Joe reacts to those joke presents Tom got him in the morning.</p>
<p>There are more noises in the hall, but Tom resolutely ignores them. Given how Joe and Will were going at it, it'd be Tom's luck to start listening close and then be <em>unable</em> to overhear them really going at it. Tom is fine as he is, thank you!</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Omg Tom 😂)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  And then there's a miniature earthquake that shakes him -- literally -- back out of the doze.</p>
<p><strong>"Come on out, Blake,"</strong> says the earthquake -- wait. That's not an earthquake. Tom sits up in a hurry. <strong>"Your friends are dead and your mother is next."</strong></p>
<p>. . . What the <em>actual fuck.</em></p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (😱)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  (POV switch)</p>
<p>When Ben comes back into lucidity, it's to Joseph painfully pressing him exactly where it hurts <em>literally the most.</em></p>
<p>"Please stop," Ben asks, aiming for politeness.</p>
<p>"Don't try to talk," Joseph tells him smartly.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (👀👀👀👀)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Ben slaps at his hands. That's like, a human thing, isn't it? 'Uncle?' But he's having a hard time coordinating them, really, and Joseph ignores him, counting under his breath instead.</p>
<p>There's someone swearing nearby -- not loud, but loud enough to be heard -- and a clatter as something relatively heavy and metal slides across the floor in the kitchen. Joseph flinches and looks over his shoulder at the opening to the kitchen, and then back down at Ben.  He shakes his head.</p>
<p>Ben shuts up. It's obvious Schofield wasn't successful, somehow.  So instead, he just tries pulling at Joseph, trying to shove him enough to cue him to get away and hide. Ben's very hard to kill, but Schofield will absolutely lose his mind if Joseph is, and Ben's not sure if he can help Will come back around a second time.</p>
<p>But Joseph doesn't budge, so when Ben feels the floor shake, he draws on his reserves as much as he dares and flips them over, pinning Joseph to the ground. Ben splatters as much blood as he can on Joseph, claps his hand over Joseph's mouth, and then goes limp and does his best to pretend to be a dead body on top of him. Joseph, miraculously, catches the cue and freezes in place.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Ooooooooooooo 😯)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  The person in the kitchen who makes the floor shake approaches the doorway cautiously. They're skittish as all hell -- they catch their breath, seeing the mess in the hall -- but they take the tableau at face value and retreat back to the light.  They start talking.</p>
<p>It's very, very loud. Ben doesn't bother listening to it; instead, he just starts dragging Joseph as far out of range of the doorway as quietly as he can.  As it turns out, this isn't actually very far at all, because Ben can't move.</p>
<p>"Fucking humans," he mutters into Joseph's shoulder, and passes out.</p>
<p>(brb -- cooking things for five mins?)</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (I will probably be asleep when you come back but continue as long as you want babe!!!)<br/>(This is so fucking interesting I can’t even 😵)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  (😂) (POV switch!)</p>
<p>So Joe is now having the worst night of his life.</p>
<p>He is honestly bewildered by . . . everything??? Like . . . first, he's, um. Really, really enjoying things with William Schofield, whom he <em>thought</em> was just some war veteran who is -- actually really an amazing guy -- and now Joseph is fucking. Covered in blood, being weighed down by a naked dog? man? person?? who has just muttered "Fucking humans" in this really exhausted, slurred way (which suggests he is NOT a human) (and also that he is bleeding out) and then became literally the deadest weight on top of him while there's a madman in the kitchen who is threatening to kill Mum.</p>
<p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (Poor Joe omfg—<em>naked dog-man </em>😂)</p>
<p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  He sits up very cautiously, doing his best to handle . . . Ben . . . gently. In the light, Ben <s>who is not just a dog</s> looks like an older, sneakier version of Will, but more powerfully-built -- blanched out much worse, though, given the, erm, loss of blood, which is . . . mostly on Joe, now.</p>
<p>Also, Ben isn't breathing.</p>
<p>Joe would try dragging him away, except there's another body in the way. That one is still as well. In desperation, Joe feels for Ben's pulse--</p>
<p>--and is absolutely floored that it's still there--</p>
<p>--and then startles so badly he nearly jumps out of his shorts when someone puts a hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>It's Tom, who looks indescribably relieved. Joe frantically motions him to <em>get out</em> but Tom ignores him utterly and pats him in reassurance, before standing up and walking tall for the kitchen door.</p>
<p>"Oi," Joe hears, familiar indignation absolutely gut-wrenching in this moment. He shouts "No!" as Tom adds "bit rude of you, innit?"</p>
<p>Then the kitchen -- explodes?</p>
<p>When Joe's ears stop ringing and he can see again, it's to the sight of Will through the doorway.  Will is leaning, wobbly, against the kitchen counter, looking at the floor, and also looking like he has been hit by one of those huge trucks they use to restock supermarkets.</p>
<p>Tom darts into view and puts a hand on Will's shoulder. Will shakes his head to whatever Tom asks and then turns and looks for -- Joe. The expression he has is painful because it looks like he's both desperately relieved and also expecting Joe to, like, stab him, or something.  Honestly? Joe's just happy to see him <em>up</em> since . . . well, there'd been that horrible thud . . .</p>
<p>Will comes through the door, wincing. "You alright there?" he asks.</p>
<p>"Yeah," says Joe, feeling really stupid. He's missing something, he knows he is.</p>
<p>But Will isn't looking at him anymore.  Will is looking down at Ben and there's real despair on his face.</p>
<p>"His heart's still going," Joe says, at a loss, because it <em>is</em> even if he's not sure <em>how.</em></p>
<p>"No, it's--" Will stops and sighs. He shakes his head. "Nothing. He'll be fine. But <em>you're</em> not hurt, are you?"</p>
<p>Joe literally cannot fathom why Will is asking. <em>Will</em> is the one who -- there was that awful noise--</p>
<p>"Am <em>I</em> alright -- what about you?" he demands.</p>
<p>Will looks surprised. "I'm fine," he says.</p>
<p>"No you're not," Joe says flatly, and this isn't exactly how he expected to get his hands on Will's bare skin, tonight, not in the slightest, and yet . . . three minutes later, he's got the first aid kit out, and here they are.</p>
<p>Mum is in the kitchen when they walk in, supported by Tom.  Joe checks on her as well, but she shoos him to tend to Will, helping Tom and Joe right the kitchen table and pull some chairs up to it so Joe can clean both Will and Mum up. </p>
<p>Then, she makes tea, and this is how Joe learns he's literally the only normal human in the family.</p>
<p>"You were so bright," Mum tells him lovingly, but sadly, when they're all back in the living room and holding mugs of tea. "Your father and I didn't want to disappoint you."</p>
<p>Tom looks wounded. "Hey!" he says, indignant. "What's that say about me?"</p>
<p>"A lot," Will mutters, eyeing Ben, who has been wrapped in a blanket and moved to the couch. The dog-man-thing's head is in Will's lap; Will's touch is gentle and his demeanor extremely anxious where he cradles it there.</p>
<p>"Right," Joe says. "And Will . . .?"</p>
<p>"Special Operations," Will says succinctly, looking at the floor.</p>
<p>"For <em>witches,"</em> Tom stage-whispers.</p>
<p>"And Ben?" Joe demands.</p>
<p>"Mostly . . . a shapeshifter, we think," Will says, uncertain. "But possibly a demon?"</p>
<p>Joe literally has no idea what to do about any of this and he's kind of--</p>
<p>"What are we going to do about the bodies?" he asks, just now realising there . . . are dead bodies. In the family home.</p>
<p>Mum waves a hand. "Don't worry about that, Joe," she says. "I'll deal with it in the morning."</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. --but it's okay, there's magic too!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>(Real magic, not just like.  Hallmark Christmas magic.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ENJOY</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>[October 5th, 2020.]</em>
</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  So AU continuation, or part of an epilogue:</p><p>It is exceedingly awkward because . . . there's at least one body in Joe's room, the spare bedroom has a broken window, and there are bodies in the kitchen and hallway, and while Joe's not uncomfortable with bodies, exactly (hello, surgeon!), he is also normally not sleeping with them, you know?</p><p>As it stands, Will doesn't look much like moving from the couch where Ben is -- definitely still not breathing, oh Lord. <em>what even is his life right now</em> -- and the living room is better than the floor of Tom's room or Mum's floor (although both offer). (Tom looks rather put-out that Will won't take him up on it, but Will also looks increasingly like he wants to puke.)  So Joe just cites Doctor's Orders and elects to stay in the living room with Will, and actually just ends up making coffee because after an evening like this, he's not sure he wants to go to sleep just yet, and Will also doesn't look like he's going to get much sleep.</p><p>There's this very long, awkward moment where it is just the two of them.  Joe's kinda just stuck on the whole <em>wow, apparently he knows about whatever magic shit is going on</em> but also, y'know, it's . . . still <em>Will.</em>  </p><p>Will is <em>obviously</em> not keeping it together super well. He's just hunched over Ben and looking more anxious than Joe's ever seen him, and --right. Support dog isn't doing so hot right now.</p><p>Joe remembers what Will said about him and Tom talking and how it's just normal and shit and that helps pull him out of himself, but Joe's . . . not up for talking right now . . . and the longer he sits here thinking about it, the whiter and sicker Will is starting to look. He's watching Joe with this sort of dreadful anticipation.</p><p>Joe just clears his throat and says, trying for matter-of-fact, "So I'm not up to talking really but we can put on some movies and watch them together if you like."</p><p>Will is not expecting this, clearly, so Joe adds, wryly, "I mean I'd say let's get back to what we were doing before, but like, it'd be kind of awkward to do that with your support man-dog acting like a dead body."</p><p>Will chokes a bit in surprise.  It's not enough to make him smile, but it's enough to shake that horrible dread.</p><p>"Okay," he says.  "But there is a real possibility I'm going to throw up."</p><p>Joseph nods.  "Okay," he replies.  "Let me grab a bowl for you, then."</p><p>Joe does this, and then gets busy setting up <em>even more</em> Christmas movies.  (Not <em>Home Alone</em> because, uh, bit too close for comfort.)  Will just kinda sits there looking bewildered but, little by little, he appears a bit less anxious.</p><p>It's not until Joe motions for him to move over on the couch that Will really starts to relax.  After the first 10 minutes of awkward stiffness, Will relents and lets Joe put an arm around his shoulders.  Half an hour in, Will sighs, and the last of his reluctance disappears; and then he is back to being plastered up along Joe's side.  By the end of the movie, Will is fast asleep.</p><p>Joe doesn't bother changing the movie.  He just stays where he is and dozes off after a bit himself.</p><p>Things are relatively back to normal a week later, which is good, because Joe's supposed to go back to work like January 4th or so.  </p><p>Just like Mum promised, on Christmas morning she and Tom got up earlyish and marched around the house, stopping in all the rooms that were . . . uh . . . affected<br/>did some weird chanting and had some <em>creepy glowing eyes,</em> God<br/>and all the blood and bodies disappeared. It was <em>absolutely wild.<br/></em>Joe honestly almost slept through the whole thing but then Mum and Tom tromped into the living room and insisted that Will had to leave it for the spell to work, which like. Apparently he's just immune to magic or nullifies it or something, Joe guesses, no one really explains it<br/>but Will is reluctant to leave Ben <em>(still not breathing)</em> on the couch<br/>so Joe helps him pick Ben up and carry him into the newly-repaired spare bedroom, where the window's been fixed and Joe pokes his head in his room and there's no body or blood or -- <em>man,</em> this is just <em>so weird. </em>anyway!</p><p>Mum and Tom fix the house and then Mum fires up the stove and insists Will take a shower before he come near breakfast. Joe remembers he is also still like, covered in Ben's blood, so after Will is finished, that is what Joe does.</p><p>. . . and <em>that</em> is when the shakes hit him.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong> 🥺🥺🥺<br/>Well fuck yeah—finding out your fam is full of witches and magic and no one told you then you get Home Alone’ed by snipers and Will goes all badass and a naked dog man bleeds all over you!<br/>Yeah Joe needs a break down 😔</p><p>
  <em>[November 26th, 2020. 5.16 a.m.]</em>
</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  So picking up where I left off like, two months ago . . .</p><p>Joe manages to keep from anything crazy, just sort of quietly sits on the floor and lets the shower spray wash over him. It's his usual <em>seen some shit</em> shower pose, though this is the first time he's watched red swirl down the drain (things don't get this messy at the hospital).</p><p>--and the shower here is a little more cramped than the one he has at home. But then, that's partly why he bought that place. The point is, he can't stay in here for an hour like he normally does -- plus, he thinks the hot water is starting to run out . . . man, how come his family never did magic to fix <em>that?</em></p><p>He's toweling off when there's a sudden knock at the door and he hears Tom go "Joe? Joe, open up, you've been long enough" and what sounds like Will making a dismayed noise. Joe has just enough time to consider whipping the towel around his hips when Tom does <em>something</em> to the lock and barges in (as usual) with a grumpy-looking naked dog-man-demonoid over one shoulder and an alarmed &amp; apologetic Will trailing (not as usual).</p><p>For the first time, Joe notices the slight glow in Tom's eyes, fading already -- <em>fucking magic</em>, of course. <em>Ughhhhhh.</em> No wonder Joe never got any peace growing up!</p><p>"Do I have to start wanking to keep you out again?" Joe snaps to Tom, irritated. Will, who has already blinked and flushed at Joe's nudity, muffles a slightly-hysterical laugh.</p><p>"Well," Ben says, looking interested and also slightly less like roadkill. "Don't stop on my account."</p><p>He's still in awful condition, but the hole in his chest seems to have closed up. Joseph wraps the towel around himself and leans in, distracted. "I don't know if you should be upright," he says, noting Ben's pallor.</p><p>"Probably not," Will says, conveying both sincere apology and apologetic humility, "but he's finicky about blood."</p><p>"You would be too with my track record," Ben growls, sounding hardly human at all.</p><p>"All right," Joseph says, and gets out of the way as Tom and Will help Ben stagger into the shower. "Need any help?"</p><p>"No, I've got it," Will says, stripping off his shirt. His hair is still damp from the shower he just took.</p><p>"Tom, fix the water," Joseph says to his brother, resolutely trying not to embarrass himself at this sight. Will is <em>really fit.</em></p><p>"What?" Tom asks. Will doesn't close the shower door -- it's not big enough to fit both of them -- and turns on the spray. Ben makes a pained noise.</p><p>"The hot water is starting to run out," Joseph clarifies, and tugs Tom away. "If you and Mum can make bodies disappear, you can make the water in the tank hot."</p><p>"Oi! Making bodies disappear is important!"</p><p>"And so is barging in on me in the shower all through high school?"</p><p>After some more verbal sparring, Joseph sends him off with a parting remark and returns to his room to get dressed. He digs through his clothes -- it looked like Ben was about his size in his human shape, and he'd probably appreciate something more to wear than a blanket or a towel.</p><p>He gets back in time to overhear conversation. "--'m not dragging your head out your arse a second time," Ben is grumbling. Though his words are sharp, his tone is not, and he is easy to hear -- the showerhead has been turned off just now and Joseph can hear it dripping.</p><p>Will is arguing with him softly. "Keeping him from getting shot--"</p><p>"--didn't expend more of me than I had," Ben interrupts. "He's alive, you're alive, I'm alive -- that's a good day."</p><p>Will exhales and says, miserably, "I hate it when you're like that, though," which is when Joseph figures he should stop eavesdropping.</p><p>He clears his throat, knocking on the door. "Brought clothes for Ben," he says through it.</p><p>"Come in," Ben says.</p><p>He's sitting on the floor when Joseph cautiously enters, wrapped in a towel and looking exhausted and wet. Will is kneeling next to him, a hand on his shoulder; he's looking a bit sick again.</p><p>"You don't look any better," Joseph says frankly to Ben. The best that can be said for him now is that he's not drenched in his own blood. This just highlights a shocking gauntness Joseph could <em>swear</em> wasn't present before.</p><p>Ben smiles, teeth sharp. "You look good enough to eat," he replies, disconcertingly.</p><p>Joseph ruthlessly squashes his discomfort.  "And shame my mum's good cooking? You're a terrible guest," he says, making sure to sound offended. "Dry off and get dressed so you can eat and stop looking so pitiful."</p><p>Ben's teeth are still <em>very</em> pointy, but his smile is a lot friendlier. Will looks relieved even before Ben laughs, sounding surprised, and so Joseph leaves the two of them feeling successful.</p><p>Breakfast is enormous. Half of it is leftovers from the night before, but Mum has managed to whip out a massive plate of fried potatoes and sausage nevertheless, along with tea and toast and jam aplenty. They have to drag in another chair from the dining room just to seat everyone at the same time, but in short order Joseph finds himself squeezed between Mum and Will and, after eating so much he has started to feel normal again, is even able to appreciate how everyone is seated so close that he and Will are brushing up against each other with delightful frequency.</p><p>Ben is sagging by the end of it, half-asleep at the table. He consents to be laid out on the couch again, though he seems to be mixing metaphors: he slurredly demands everyone give him a goodnight kiss, on account of how "that's what you do when you make people sleep on the couch." Will, endearingly, does so without hesitation -- Mum makes a cooing noise and does the same. Joe doesn't have to worry about it, because Tom starts arguing that Ben has got it wrong and Ben falls asleep in the middle of it.</p><p>At this point, Tom insists that presents are opened. "It's Christmas," he argues. "And we've all got something!"</p><p>"Right," Joseph says, resigned. "So how many of mine are gag gifts, then?"</p><p>--but apart from that, it is actually one of the better moments. Tom did get Joseph several gag gifts, but he and Mum also conspired to get him a really nice antique doctor's bag, complete with a set of instruments. Joseph's gifts go over well, too: Mum gets misty-eyed over the card where Joseph tucked the voucher for dinner for three at a very nice restaurant, date set for the week after next; Tom thumbs through the set of "How Stuff Works" volumes for various mechanical things and starts reading one about household appliances. (It's the page with water heaters, Joseph notes with amusement.)</p><p>Will is quiet when he unwraps Joseph's gift. It's a stovetop smoker, nothing too incredible -- just something Joseph knew he didn't already have.</p><p>"Thank you," he says, just when Joseph is starting to worry he'd done something wrong. In actuality, Will looks like he's trying not to cry.</p><p>Mood swings, Joseph remembers, are a <em>bitch.</em> He pretends not to notice and nudges Will. "I get to try some of whatever you make, right?" he asks.</p><p>"Of course," Will says thickly. "Anything."</p><p>[Will got Joseph something, too, I just can't think of what. It's nice and thoughtful and Joseph likes it. (Will's <em>real</em> present for him, though, was supposed to be a very, very <s>sexy</s> nice Christmas Eve, but they make that up later.)]<br/>[Something something, stuff stuff stuff]</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  (<em>oh I’ve missed this one</em>)</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Tl;dr: this one ends with Joseph internally deciding that yes, he does still really want to date Will, and then spending some time convincing Will of that. It ends with them kissing a lot more and probably Tom doing something comical.</p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  A <em>fantastic</em> ending 🥰🤤</p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong> 😘<br/>Probably they go back to dancing around each other for the next few months, just like. All wholesome dates, all fluffy kissing &amp; handholding<br/>until the summer<br/>when Will is back to the pre-Christmas Eve baseline<br/>and comfortable enough to get pushy again <span class="emojiContainer-3X8SvE"></span></p><p><strong>butler is boo:</strong>  <strong>👏😭</strong></p><p><strong>Lt. Richards is bae:</strong>  Anyway, good morning! :)</p>
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